- // This weekend was one year since I had lost my dad to addiction. I thought there was no more fitting blog to write, than to honor the changes that have been a part of my growth journey as a result. This is a hodge-podge post, but so are our lives, randomly assorted but so intentionally crafted. This last year has been transformative, I pray that your year was also shaping.
- // This year, I had to realize that I never really lost my dad to addiction, that implies somehow, Christ's ability to overcome does not scale the edges of my life. Our "victory" is not always in an expected outcome. A year ago, I thought that deliverance meant recovery, but only my way. In retrospect, I see my dad's healing in an eternity that can only restore freedom to a prison that captured him on earth. We need to have a faith that asks more of our heavenly Father, but also believes that from His name could only come freedom, unity, and restoration.
- // Shame. I will admit that I felt shame. I felt shameful telling my story, revealing to my safe people exactly what was hard in my life. I heard someone say the best thing. I had to keep telling my story until I ran out of shame, until there was no shame left inside of me, because shame cannot stay alive in public. Might I say, shame was a weapon made by the enemy to tell us that we somehow should not have confidence in the life we lead, or that our journey is not important, or even that there is no reclamation allowed to things given by God but twisted through the world. Speak until you run out of shame, we are not made to carry that around.
- // Faith the size of a mustard seed moves mountains. Faith is confidence and confidence means that doubt cannot plant. Whether we carry a lot of confidence or a little confidence, uncertainty cannot coexist. Our words to the Lord are heard. Bring everything to Him. Bring the excitement of a new job and the hurt of losing an animal. Your words are never beside the point to Jesus. Believe that what you say is brought into the kingdom of Heaven.
- // Prioritize family. Take time sitting around the table eating. Call your parents or kids. Text them randomly. Make dates with them. Family is just a blessing.
- // God is only good. I over-analyze most things, and as I decided on the character of God, not seeing the deliverance that I expected, I kept hitting a wall that could only recognize Jesus as good. I wanted to be angry with God and believe that He did not keep His promises, but my experience was that He continued to bless me with more family, opportunity, and kindness. These moments felt almost like they could not run out. When I understood that only goodness could come from the Father, I discovered that I could not count high enough to note every good thing in my life.
- // Healing is something that I do not believe we could ever see the end of, in this life. We have to spend our lives becoming undone, because it is our unwinding that makes us more like Him. When we are undone, He can pull us back together in the exact pattern that we need to be. We spend our lives becoming a more perfected creation until our last breath when He molds us into the exact version of ourselves that He always intended.
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